il Giardino Romantico

我不知道怎麼告訴自己，逃避的原因是因為我不知道從何開始。說出一句『不知道』一點都不可恥。畢竟就是因為為了要學習才來的。我可以原諒自己的『不知道』，但如果我不試著去做，連我都無法原諒我自己，更何況是別人？

腦子一瞬間飄過好幾千個思緒。但我還是無法找到那個起跑點。這的天氣對我也一點幫助都沒有。早上起來一看見大太陽，對著自己說：『就是今天了！』。但當我這麼一說完，太陽馬上不見了。而且還馬上下起雨來。我的世界開始變得黑暗。一點光線都沒有。

他曾說我像是個女戰士，也看到我有如今的成就感到驕傲。但是任務尚未完成。那個女戰士跑哪去了？

這張看起來不怎麼樣也一點都沒有特殊含意的照片，對我來說是我到英國以來最珍貴的一張照片。看看右下角的日期，或許你就會了解－那是踏上英國領土的第一天，也是我夢想實現的第一天。這張照片是我在英國拍到的第一張照片。價值：無價。

回頭看看當初剛到這裡時所拍下的一些照片，我已經開始在笑我自己當時怎麼連這麼普通、簡單、隨處可見的物品都要給人家拍下來。但同時，我又告訴自己：還好你都把他們拍了下來。因為日子久了，這些東西都已經變得不稀奇了。照片卻可以永遠保留住你當初來到這的那份新鮮感。又是一個無價。

當你對你身邊的景物開始感到一定的安全感，這代表你要找尋當初那份新鮮感就得去別處旅行。或許對某些人來說是種酸葡萄心理，但我思考了很久之後，還是沒辦法做到說走就走。去年年底會去愛丁堡，純粹是拜Rosslyn Chapel所賜才得到一系列的意外驚喜。當我開始習慣利物浦之後，我要花盡多少工夫才能恢復到我當初對這座城市的那種新鮮感？我無法隨便旅遊的原因既是如此。如果我習慣了旅遊，無論我到哪裡，那種新鮮感也會逐漸的減弱。我怕。所以若是要出走，就必須要從長計議。

幸福是什麼？幸福是能夠活在夢想當中。每天早上起床都告訴自己：You've made it! You're living your dream! 幸福是被分配到全宿舍裡最大的房間，讓自己有足夠的空間能夠練瑜珈。幸福是能夠住在離圖書館不遠的宿舍。幸福是能夠交到各式各樣有趣的新朋友。幸福是能夠走在英國的街道上，呼吸著英國的空氣、追著鴿子跑、滿街都看得見Torres的影子。

幸福、是一杯咖啡以及一本又厚又重的Oxford Shakespeare。

雖然很不想這樣公開的談論在這裡比較瘋狂的一面，但我不能否認，自從贏得pub quiz那一晚玩到早上四點才回家之後，幾乎用掉我兩三天的時間才真正回復到我正常的生活。果然是老了。跟這些小我三四歲的傢伙們比起來，真的遜掉了。好不容易為了課業推掉星期二晚上美國總統大選的派對之後，終於在今天早上恢復早晨的瑜珈作息。我的第六感告訴我，今天會很美好。

【中文在下面】



It's been a month already, since I departed from Taiwan.  How do I like it here? I'm absolutely 'lovin' it'! 

There have been occasions where I have been confronted by negative experiences, but they are way too trivial to affect my positive impression on living here.  In general, making friends here takes a little more time than I had anticipated.  However, I am in luck.  Because I hate to admit this, but if you ain't downing that pint, you're going to have to try ten times harder to try and make friends, especially with the locals.  Then, there is the language gap.  I'm starting to understand why international students hang out in their own groups.  Most of the East Asian students I've met have trouble with even the simplest daily conversations.  It takes a real patient native speaker to converse with them, and even more patient to actually become best mates with them.  As I said, I'm in luck.  As long as you don't ask me to down shots, then I'm all in.  As weird as this may sound to those of you who don't know me too well, I feel more comfortable hanging out with North Americans than British people, or even Asians. 

It's an interesting experience to witness the change of season through the changing color of leaves.

I've waited to write my first journal after my first tutorial, as they call it here, because I knew that I would certainly have something to say after it.  It's been wonderful to finally be around people who actually like Shakespeare, instead of those who are either intimidated by his works or pretending to like him just to look and sound smart.  These people have a genuine passion for Shakespeare, poetry, and literature in general.  I'm ashamed to say that I'm actually the least passionate among them when it comes to Shakespeare. 

We're doing four modules this semester, two of which run two hours fornightly and the other two are weekly one-hour sesisons.  There is one other international student doing the same MA, from Saudi Arabia.  Apparently, she's having a real difficult time adjusting to the culture here.  She is, afterall, Muslim, and all the diverse culture that England has to offer could be extremely intimidating.  Other than her, I'm the only person from Taiwan out of the nine of us.  Two of my mates are part-time, and they will only attend two modules with us.